Recognizing Gifts - Of Those Closest To Us

Before I begin with my meandering thoughts, I must make two disclaimers.

1.  In no way is the biblical reference meant personally. ( REALLY!)

2.  If you talk to Todd soon, no need to tell him he was the subject of my blog. (REALLY!)

Last Friday, the Space Shuttle Endeavor made its way home to Los Angeles.  It was quite an exciting day around here.  All the TV stations were carrying Endeavor’s progress live, as it headed down the coast from San Francisco and made passes over strategic Southland locations.  One of those, JPL, is right here in La Canada (although the newscasters always place it in Pasadena). 

Todd joined his father-in-law, Don (a recently retired JPL Engineer – yes he IS a Rocket Scientist!), at a spot Don had scoped out the previous day.  He figured it was the perfect place to see Endeavor as it made its loop over the JPL facility; below is the picture Todd took of that historic moment.

When I received this photo, I was blown away (pardon the pun!)  What a shot – and my son took it!  I sent it out to friends and family, from whom I continue to get responses of  “WOW”, “Amazing”, “Awesome”, “What a photographer”.

Yeah, but it’s just Todd.

 Bill tells me “Well he is a professional photographer, Carol!”

Yeah, but he’s just our son.

As I have been reflecting on my reactions, not only to this picture, but my cavalier attitude about Todd’s gifts, I thought of the Gospel story of Jesus not being recognized in his own hometown.  After all, he was just the carpenter’s son.

You see where I am going with this?  How many times do I do that?

 People look at the beautiful bonsai Bill has so carefully and lovingly tended and I say

Yeah, but he’s just my husband.

Sound familiar?  Perhaps not; but as for me, this has been a huge “God Shot”!  I am quick to admire the talents of mere acquaintances or even strangers, compliment them on their achievements and accomplishments.  Of course, that is a good thing. But maybe, just maybe, I should take a look at those closest to me and not take for granted their God-given gifts.

So – Yes!  Todd is one great photographer!

And – yeah – he’s my son!

The Goodness of God

Last weekend was filled with the goodness of God, for me!  On Saturday, we began the fifth season of A Morning Apart at church.  My friend and I initiated these monthly gatherings, which include a time for scripture reading using Lectio Divina, followed by an extended quiet time to be with God in whatever way works for each individual.  Some read, journal, take walks, or participate in a spiritual discipline we might be offering.  This month we focused on Psalm 104, known as the ‘Creation Psalm’.  We set up five meditation areas around the church campus with one of Bill’s amazing bonsai’s as the focal point at each.  Talk about experiencing God’s creation through nature!

The previous evening I had another encounter with God’s Grace.  My son, Todd and daughter-in-law Amy, invited Amy’s parents and us for dinner to announce the gender and name of our first grandchild.  They very cleverly gave us each a picture frame that said “first grandchild’ with a photo of the name spelled out using scrabble letters.  Tears were flowing, as Bill and I realized this new little fellow would be carrying our name to the next generation! 

I hope these pictures give you a flavor of "The Goodness of God"!

Full Circle

Have you ever had the experience of life coming ‘full circle’?    You know, those times when you realize you’ve been in this place before, but now you’re coming at it from the other direction.  I had one of those this weekend.

Fourteen years ago it seemed as though my life was falling apart.  I was in the midst of two major crises and feeling pretty hopeless.  I had just started attending a Presbyterian Church, which had a Stephen Ministry program.  This amazing group of people volunteer to walk alongside a person who needs a companion while maneuvering through a rough patch in life.  They don’t give advice, it’s not psychotherapy; it’s just great big doses of TLC when you need it most!  I was fortunate enough to be a recipient of the care given by an incredible Stephen Minister.  Not only did she walk me through my crises, but we formed a spiritual friendship that continues to thrive to this day.

So here I am all these years later and I was asked to facilitate a retreat, which would commence their new year of ministry.  As I began the morning with a brief introduction of myself and why Stephen Ministers had been such a pivotal part of my life, I was struck by the ‘full circleness’ of it all!  (I don’t think ‘circleness’ is a word, but it just seems to fit!).  God was allowing me the opportunity to give back in some small measure, that which had been so freely given to me all those years ago. 

I’d like to say, instead of being on the receiving end, I was on the giving end.  But this full circle thing doesn’t exactly work like that, does it?  Because you see as I sat in the retreat Saturday morning, I was once again receiving.  I was filled with gratitude for this ministry and for a God who is so faithful.  He has never given up on me, even when time after time I have doubted myself.  A full circle blessing, indeed!

So, back to the beginning, have you ever had the experience of life coming ‘full circle’?    I bet you have.  It’s pretty awesome isn’t it?

Marker Events

Who would ever think painting one’s house could be a marker event; that line in the sand that separates a before and after segment of life?  Well, I’m here to tell you it has been for me – two times!

Ten years ago we gave our home a facelift.  It not only needed a fresh coat of paint, but a change of color as well!  As luck would have it (I choose to see it as a God shot) the man who owned the painting company had a Master of Divinity degree! I recall in depth conversations in the midst of checking out color palates and deciding whether or not to boldly use burgundy on our front door! I wanted to ‘warm’ the house up a bit; to have an invitational and welcoming entryway.

This was also a time of huge change in my life.  I left my sixteen-year teaching position with Los Angeles and returned to a classroom in my hometown.  In addition to a shift in career paths, it was the period of my mother’s rapidly spiraling decline into the disease of Alzheimer’s. 

So painting our house represented a new direction, a stepping out into uncharted territory – a ‘marker event’.  However it was never so clear as two months after completion of the painting, when mother finally succumbed to her disease.  It had been a long difficult struggle; emotionally, mentally, and physically.  I very much wanted to celebrate her life and the healing that had been part of the journey she and I shared.  After the memorial service, I invited everyone over for a reception.  That was actually the first occasion to receive friends and family at our welcoming entryway with the boldly beautiful burgundy door!  I was saying goodbye to mother with grace and dignity.  And one chapter of my life was coming to a close, as another promising chapter lay ahead.  That line in the sand, symbolized by a fresh coat of paint!

Fast-forward ten years; I contacted our Master of Divinity painter.  I could no longer ignore the peeling wood and faded stucco!  But remember, it was only two years ago that we were going to sell this house; we had determined our “thorn” had won the battle and we would leave!    Ever so gradually, we have had a change of heart.  This was OUR HOME, filled with years of love and memories.  It was worth fighting for!  As was the case a decade ago, I had amazing discussions with Mr. Master of Divinity painter about thorns, forgiveness, letting go, and moving on!  About half way through the completion of painting, I realized this was about much more than freshening up tired looking paint.  I was reclaiming our home.  I am ready to remove the ‘thorn’ as the focus of my life; it’s time to move forward.  Another line in the sand, symbolized by a fresh coat of paint!

So there you have it!  Marker Events with a paint brush!

Meant to Live

The other day I had lunch with a good friend, who has been in my life for over twenty years.  We began as teaching colleagues back in our Los Angeles Unified days, but it has been in the retirement years that we have dared to go “beneath the surface” into a deeper friendship. 

As a matter of fact, it was this special lady who inspired me to try my hand at writing poetry.  My friend is an accomplished poet – has been for many years, but it wasn’t until fairly recently that she chose to share her work with me.  Her poems not only touch me, but also have shown me a freedom in putting my “stories” into poetic form.

Over lunch, we discussed how hard it has been to share our work.  Every time I publish a poem, either on this blog or as an email to friends, I think twice before I hit the send button.   I lay myself open and vulnerable, with doubts as to the worth of the words I have written.  But my insightful friend countered with this piece of wisdom:  “Carol, poetry can’t live it isn’t shared; it dies if it is not heard.”

My friend’s advice struck me and has been haunting me ever since.  We all have gifts!  Why is it so difficult to truly claim them with enough confidence that we dare to share them?  Perhaps our egos get in the way, insecurity, and the “committee in our head” shouting reasons why OUR gifts aren’t good enough!   The list is endless!  But if we have been given gifts from God, doesn’t it seem reasonable He means for them to be shared?

Perhaps it isn’t just poems that can’t live if they aren’t offered to others, maybe that goes for each of our gifts as well?  There’s a reason for the phrases “God given talent” and “God given gift” – they are FROM GOD and are meant to live!

So, how about you?   Are you allowing your gifts to live? 

God's Faithfulness!

God's Faithfulness; 21st Century Style

No Burning Bush...

But a phone call

revealing a voice,

unheard for

two decades.

No Prophet by the Jordan...

But an email

declaring a message,

of compassion

and grace.

No Dove Descending...

But a shooting star

blazing its light,

across the darkened sky

and into a doubting heart.

No Road to Damascus...

But a simple invitation

offering new vistas,

a change in direction

down uncharted roads.

No Balm in Gilead...

But gentle voices

whispering words that heal,

a soothing ointment

for prickly thorns.

Carol Wawrychuk

July 29, 2012

Thorns, Birthdays, and Honesty

Thorns:

OK, I’m a little sick of having the “thorn thing” in common with Paul!  You know how he prayed and prayed to have the thorn removed from his side and for reasons we were never privileged to hear  (nor do I think was Paul), they continued to haunt him.

Well, that’s my life right now.  The THORN IS BACK, only at a slightly different angle and perhaps not as big as it has felt in the past.   Yet it continues to fester, using my emotional reserves to dig deep into my bag of ‘coping skills’.  One of my biggest problems is the injustice of it all!  AGAIN!  I mean AGAIN Lord!  This is downright unfair, Lord.  WHY?

If it sounds like I’m whining, I guess I am – maybe not such a good coping strategy!  But there you have it!

Birthdays:

Yesterday was my birthday.  I had a wonderful lunch with my husband, son, and daughter-in-law, received lovely cards, phone calls, e-mails and texts (yes, times they are a changing!) – I knew I was dearly loved and celebrated.  But you can probably guess where I am going with this – the THORN trumped everything else.  As hard as I tried to ignore it and dab it with a bit of healing ointment, it was just not to be – even on my birthday.  So by the end of the day, along with the festering thorn, I was beating myself up pretty badly for not being able to rise above it all!

Honesty:

Later in the evening, two friends phoned to ask about my day and I decided to give an honest response.  I told them I blew it!  I gave my power to a thorn instead of celebrating my life and all the wonderful, caring, loving friends and family with whom I am blessed.  As I spoke, I literally felt my body start to relax.  I began to have compassion for ME, as my friends enfolded me with their love and compassion!  Yes, this is another rough patch, but it needn’t define who I am – or my birthday!

My very dear friend, who is on vacation this week, lovingly ‘listened’ via email (because she too asked and pretending just doesn’t work between us – even if we are out of town!!!)   I will close with her thoughts:  “So try not to let the thorn have the day AFTER your birthday too.  Happy Day After Your Birthday!”

Today’s a new day; I hope to celebrate newfound freedom from the THORN. I must remember "One day at a time" - or - "One hour at a time", whichever works best!!  However today turns out,   I know I'm being held in love and prayers - and that is cause to give thanks!