The Ever-widening Path

Yes!  It’s been awhile since you’ve heard from me and I believe I can point to the “ever-widening path” as the reason.  Of course, you know I’ll explain!

You notice I didn’t say my path is going in a new or different direction; it’s headed down the same road.  The destination hasn’t changed, I have!  Perhaps the road has always been wider than I was willing to allow; predictable, routine, and safe are comfortable words in my vocabulary.  However, the more I venture into uncharted territory, the more opportunities for taking risks seem to come my way.  And quite unusual for me, I find it exciting to watch God’s plans unfold.

I’m also learning to pay attention to my inner voice, which is whispering it’s time to let Seeds of Faith go on hiatus. Writing will continue to be one of my passions, but I sense it will take on a new look.  I need to make space for possibilities, some known but I’m quite sure most are unknown!

So thank you for allowing me to share my ponderings with you over the past year and a half.  I so loved hearing from you; your stories and comments were always an encouragement to me.  I have saved every one!

Of course, I can’t end without showing you God’s biggest miracle on the “ever-widening path”!

Our God of Relationships

I’ve been on a journey the past couple of weeks; a journey of reconnecting, restoring, and mending fences.  That much I had planned for, what I did not anticipate was the courage needed to keep my feet on the path.  If a u-turn had been available, I would have gladly changed directions.

And then . . .in steps our God of Relationships: through my husband who reminded me about truth-telling, through a meditation on the power of intercessory prayer, through admitting vulnerabilities, through friends who wrapped their arms around me from afar with their words of love and encouragement, and through an embracing welcome filled with warm gracious hospitality.  I knew I was not alone on this journey.  In fact, it became apparent I was not orchestrating this reunion, it was our God of Relationships.

Think about the people in your life and how God works through them to reach out to you.  I bet you’re smiling right now!

What an amazing relational God we have!

Spud and Brooklyn: Chapter Two

Well, it happened again!  Spud and I were making our way home from our Thursday morning walk, when Brooklyn spotted Spud!  But let me give you a little background of the morning, before I share their interaction.

Thursday is my 6am Bible Study group, which every Wednesday night I second myself as to guess why in the world I ever signed up for such a thing.  I mean I’m retired, I don’t have to get up early any more, you’d think I’d pick a more convenient  time.  But I LOVE this group of women and every week I leave at 7am thanking God that HE has brought us together.  In our closing prayer this morning,  I asked that we be open to how God would show himself to us, as we move through our day.

Since I’m wide awake when I return home and of course Spud is ready to launch into a new day, we go for an extra long walk; which includes horse trails and a pedestrian walkway over a busy freeway!  The morning is fresh and crisp, the birds chirping, and squirrels chasing each other (I think just to tease Spud!). 

I take my phone with me for emergency purposes, believe me when it rings I’m completely startled, as that happens so seldom!  But toward the end of our walk I did get a call from my son.  I wanted to arrange time to have a “Billy fix”!  (Oh and BTW, it is SO La Canada to be walking your dog and talking on your cell.)  I’m in the middle of the conversation, when we round the corner and see Brooklyn and grandpa.

I quickly tell my son I’ll call him back and walk over to greet Brooklyn.  Brooklyn is holding his arms out toward Spud and grandpa is asking him if he remembers meeting him. And did we make progress!  Grandpa showed him how to hold Spud’s treat in his open hand and Spud licked it right up!  Brooklyn squealed in delight and pointed to my bag of treats to do it again.  After three feedings, Brooklyn wiped his hand on his shirt and said, “He be slimy”.

 

As we each went on our way, I said good-bye to Brooklyn and he waved back and said "Good-bye Spu"  that’s right Spu, not Spud!  At that moment, I broke into the biggest smile and thought about the prayer from earlier – here you are, God.  Thank you!

 

So here’s wishing you your own “Spud and Brooklyn” moment today!  

     

P.S. 

Since I didn’t think it appropriate to ask to take a picture of Brooklyn, here is one of Spudster and my little guy, whom I call the “Sheriff of Crankertown”!

98% or 2% ?

Recently I attended a women’s retreat at an incredibly beautiful retreat center near Santa Barbara.  Everything about the weekend was great; the weather, the setting, the speaker, the small groups, even the food was delicious!

Well, let me amend that just a bit, ALMOST everything was great.  My dear friend, with whom I’ve attended these retreats for many years, slipped, fell, and what we thought was a badly sprained ankle turned out to be a broken fibula, which needed surgery!  My first response, upon learning of her fall, being the compassionate caring person that I am, was “Does this mean I have to drive your car – a stick shift – all the way home?”

But I digress….

You know how sometimes God speaks to you out of the blue, when you’re not even anticipating a “Breaking News Alert” from above?  That happened to me on our first evening in the small group.  I shared how 98% of my life was good, but I have this nagging 2% that continues to capture the lion's share of my focus.  A very special lady in our group spoke these words of wisdom, “ Yes, isn’t that just what we do, turn the 2% into the 98%?”

OK God, I hear you loud and clear!  It’s up to me on which 98% I choose to put my attention. 

The rest of the retreat was icing on the cake!   And PTL, I drove my friend and I home without burning up the clutch or stripping the gears!

The Six-letter Word . . .

Change!  This has probably never been a word used to describe one of my stronger skills for navigating through life!  I prefer routine, traditions, predictable, status quo etc.– you get the picture?  I clutch firmly and hate to let go, whether it is something as big as employment, as complicated as relationships, or as simple as going to a hairdresser (although this was actually one of the more difficult changes for me to make!!) 

Perhaps I’ve always figured if circumstances didn’t change, I had control over the situation (control – now there’s a seven-letter word I’ve always loved!)  Kind of silly when you stop to think about it, how can I stop change?  There are all kinds of opportunities waiting, if I only move out the clutter and make space for them.  I guess I’m a slow learner, but I am making progress.  I mean I did switch hairdressers after twelve years!

So how about you?  What is that six-letter word to you; friend or foe?  Or maybe it fluctuates on the continuum  - just like change itself!

Change

Decades tiptoeing

around it,

as if avoidance

could halt

life’s natural progression.

Days, months, years,

wrapped in

tidy packages

tied with

predictable ribbons.

Still,

it finds

an opening,

unwilling to be

boxed in

or

shut out.

Ever present,

never ending,

sometimes gently,

sometimes forcefully,

often unexpectedly,

intruding on order

and carefully laid plans.

Until it is

welcomed

and

embraced.

Lovingly invited

on the journey,

as a familiar friend,

not an

unwanted stranger.

April 12, 2013

Spud and Brooklyn

What is it about my Spudster and little kids that just melts my heart and screams to me of God’s presence? 

It happened again today on our morning walk.  We were meandering down the road, at the end of one of our longer routes, when I spotted a man carrying a little boy.   The gentleman (I’m guessing the grandfather) was patiently pointing out trees, flowers, the truck carrying the gardener’s equipment etc., when this little guy in his arms (maybe 18 months) points to Spud and says “Doggie, doggie!” 

Grandpa put Brooklyn down (I always introduce Spud to his admirers by name!) and asked if he could meet Spud.  So here comes little Brooklyn, wobbly and yes –a tad bit tentatively – to meet my boy!   Brooklyn put out his chubby finger and touched Spud’s nose and then his head, not quite sure how to go about making the acquaintance of this massive white dog in front of him!  I offered the opportunity for Brooklyn to give Spud a treat and with Grandpa’s permission, I placed it in the palm of his little hand.  Understandably, Brooklyn didn’t know the next step to this whole scenario, but Spud did!  Spud ‘gives paw’ before he gets something special – and that is just what happened with Brooklyn!  Spud put his big old paw in that little palm!  Of course it all worked out, because the treat fell to the ground, Spud quickly ate it and Brooklyn giggled in delight!

We continued our journey down the street; only my eyes were no longer dry, as I heard Grandpa saying, “That was Spud!”   I realized I would be doing the same thing with Billy in the not too distant future. 

So it’s only 10:20am and life feels full of God today! 

And just because I can’t resist, here’s a picture I took of Billy this week, when I was babysitting.   Will miracles never cease???!!!

Redemption - Playing if Forward

My “God of Divine Opportunities” during  Lent, had something else up His sleeve for Holy Week – REDEMPTION. 

As we entered Jerusalem on Palm Sunday to the cheers and adulation's of the crowd (definitely would be MY kind of parade!), the story slowly started to unravel to the utter abandonment of Good Friday.   All but one disciple deserted Jesus, a fact that had previously escaped me.  The throngs of loving followers turned into an angry mob and there was betrayal by those closest to him.  I’ve heard the story thousands of times, yet this year what rang through loudest was REDEMPTION.

My moments of defeat, disappointments, and failures are actually rather minuscule in the grand scheme of things; but when I’m in the muck and mire, they loom like dark torrents of rain that never seem to end.  And that is just the time a small ray of sun breaks through with a glimmer of hope and offers the possibility of redemption. 

This week I’ve had occasions to share personal redemption stories with women in my small group, my early, early (6AM!!) bible study, and in a front porch rocking chair conversation with a friend.  Only a few of these women have I known for many years and have walked through the valleys and mountain tops of our lives together; while others I am just becoming acquainted with, our journey together only beginning.  However our conversations have shown me it makes no difference; we all have redemption stories and it is in the sharing that God uses us to reach out to others.  Redemption is meant to be played forward.

Watch for your redemption stories.  They come in all shapes and sizes, but they are all around, waiting to be claimed.  Then pass them along; someone needs to hear your story.

Wishing you a Joy-filled, Glorious, Resurrection Sunday! 

Redemption

Ripples of Grace

  flowing downstream

Baptizing hearts

   hardened by hurt

Nudges of forgiveness

   promising release

Healing transgressions

   mercies undeserved

Showers of light

   illuminating paths

Weary travelers called

   to Resurrection Life

Weaving of love

   God to man

Tapestry of redemption

   death to rebirth

March 28, 2013

Maundy Thursday 

 

 

Divine Opportunities

As the forty days of Lent draw to a close, I look back on this as a season of divine opportunities!  It’s not something I had planned mind you; actually I had nothing planned as a Lenten discipline.  But divine opportunity came knocking and once I opened the door, it was not about to be closed.

I first noticed these opportunities a couple of months ago. In fact I’ve previously written about the pushing of familiar buttons and the old sore spot on my “Achilles Heel”.  But it didn’t stop there!  I’ve had the chance to revisit self-doubts, ‘black & white thinking’ and standing up for what I believe in. 

None of this has been easy; I much prefer the nest of ‘status quo’.  And if I am to leap from its safety, it’s to be a short hop, propelled by a gentle breeze.  But how am I to learn about fresh beginnings, compromise, forgiveness, acceptance and courage, if God doesn’t yank me out of the nest, sometimes into a forceful wind and say, “Fly, Carol – the possibilities are endless!”

I have a hunch the conclusion of Lent will not be the end of God’s divine opportunities; quite possibly He’s just getting started.  I’m holding on to my hat!

The Big and The Small

Readily spotted

in the grandeur . . .

the mountains of Zion

arching rainbows

desert vistas

a bonsai forest

Easily recognized

in the majestic . . .

a Grand Canyon sunset

an ocean sunrise

stillness of a starlit night

yellow butterflies

Abundantly clear

in the miracles. . .

a baby's birth

illness healed

relationships  restored

transgressions forgiven

Yet . . .

The Presence is there

in  missed opportunities

a change of plans

unexpected failures

little disappointments

Evidence abounds

in a morning walk

the voice of a friend

a familiar melody

buds popping on a vine

He is in it all

The big and the small

Billy

Sweet perfection

cradled in my arms

An extension of others

yet

uniquely his own

Barely arrived

and 

melting my heart

This sweet perfection 

cradled in my  arms

God's Art Gallery

At last Saturday’s “A Morning Apart”, we dared to look at ourselves through God’s eyes.  Using Mark 1: 10-12 as a cornerstone, we listened to a voice from heaven that proclaims;  "YOU are my Beloved".  As if that were not risky enough, we were offered the opportunity to look at ourselves in a mirror; move past the bad hair day, the wrinkles, the dark circles under the eyes, the blemishes, any fears, doubts, or hurts we try to conceal, to the beloved child which God claims as His own.

During the quiet time, small canvases were available to paint a self-portrait, in whatever way one chose, to represent the true self; God's Beloved.  The results were remarkable.  From realistic to abstract, flowers, trees, mountains, and doves; each person became vulnerable with God. 

In our closing reflection, my friend declared the altar had become “God’s art gallery”.   And indeed it had!

If you’ve never looked into a mirror  to see yourself as God sees you, give it a try.  It’s a bit scary, but you just might be surprised at the reflection gazing back at you.

“You are my Son (my Daughter), the Beloved; with you I am well pleased.

Lent: An emptying out and filling up

Whenever I hear the word Lent, craving chocolate comes to mind.  Most likely because that is what I would choose to give-up during the forty days of temptation in the wilderness.  I never quite understood how this denial would bring me closer to Jesus, but then again I’m the proverbial ‘good girl’, who does what she’s supposed to do – and asks questions later!

However, this year appears to be starting out differently.  It’s those darned buttons I wrote about a few weeks ago!  I’m noticing a pattern in which ones are being pushed.  Within the variety of size, color, and shape, there’s a common theme; and if you want to know the truth, I think God’s the one doing the pushing!

I’m sensing new vistas on the horizon, but I can’t make the journey carrying the same old tired looking luggage packed full of worn-out buttons!  Consequently, God keeps giving me opportunities to choose a better way of dealing with the unwanted stings that life dishes out.  

And I’m beginning to wonder if perhaps this is my Lenten journey with Jesus in the wilderness; an emptying out and filling up – not an either/or, but a both/and.

Maybe giving up chocolate wasn’t so hard after all!

Naked in the Wilderness

OK, I apologize, not the visual you wanted, nonetheless, it’s a great descriptor for my current location!   Why is that my image at the present moment?  Let me explain.

 I’ve been having these nudges to read the Bible in its entirety.  I encounter passages in my daily meditations, am even rather familiar with a few, but not much in depth.  I am an Episcopalian for heaven’s sake!  So I’ve purchased a “read through the Bible in one year” edition and have begun the trek through the Old Testament.

WOW – NOT for the faint of heart!  It’s only been a month and I’ve witnessed sacrifices, floods (BIG floods!), plagues of all sorts, adultery, incest, a host of dysfunctional family systems, and some pretty interesting miracles thrown in along the way!

Moses has just led his people out of Egypt (not an easy task I learned) and now they’re wandering around in the desert complaining about the food and water supply!  I mean for how long were they in captivity?  God orchestrated all these amazing (graphic I must say) events to set His people on a new path toward their homeland and they’re looking back at Egypt with longing eyes.

Well, there I am!  I’ve been “kicked out of Egypt”!  I’ve been in a leadership role at church for the last three years, two of which have offered me a lofty title and my own imaginary crown.  I’ve always enjoyed being at the top!  But alas, the term limits expired, the crown handed to the new presiding queen, and I’m looking back at Egypt saying, “Wait a minute, how did I get out here?  I was just getting comfortable with my captivity!”

The thing is, I don’t really want to go back.  Actually, I can emphatically say NO; I don’t want to go back.  But I’ve been in this wilderness place wandering about in an unknown land before, who knows what lies ahead?   THAT, it seems, is the million-dollar question.

So for now I will trust that God knows; that He will clothe me and set me on my next path.  I do hope it won’t be as tumultuous a journey as it was for the Israelites!

Buttons

Unaware it was still attached

    couldn't feel it

    didn't see it

until it was pushed.

A few dings

   some scratches

   even a bit of rust,

       yet uncannily familiar

when it was pushed.                                             

Old buttons

    can do that

    reminders of the past

        searching for their garment

waiting to be pushed.

But the apparel is new

    old buttons don't fit

    they just won't fasten

        no matter how hard

they're pushed.

Carol Wawrychuk

January 24, 2013

A Letter From God?

At last Saturday’s “A Morning Apart”, we explored letter writing!  Specifically a letter of Christ, “written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God.” (2 Corinthians 3:2-3)  A mighty tall order, don’t you agree?  But wait, there was more.  What if God wrote a letter to US!  What would He say?  How would He address us?  How would God sign our letter? 

During our quiet space that is just what we did, wrote a letter to ourselves from God. We placed it in an envelope, sealed and addressed it, to be returned in the mail at a later date.  Some of us found envisioning God writing to us personally wasn’t such a simple task.  Going out to be the messenger of Christ apparently is more comfortable than relaxing into God’s care and love of us, JUST US, as His individual child.

It was an enlightening experience, one you could try on your own.

What words would God send from His heart to yours?

You are a letter from Christ

in the mailbox of my life

I’ve found many forms of letters

but the ones I’ve most rejoiced in

are the ones sent from my Lord.

they look most ordinary

that no one would suspect

they bear the blessed message

of the truth about my heart.

some letters bring me challenge

to forego my hardened ways;

some letters invite happiness

and promise new delight.

some letters gift my days with hope

when all the world seems dark’

some letters bear tough questions

regarding weaknesses and sin.

some letters send me healing

when my heart is weary

some letters speak of loving

and of giving beyond cost.

some letters make me wonder

how I ever could refuse,

for they are letters of proposal

for a love life with my God.

I know that I’ll keep coming

to the mailbox of my life

because the letters tell of Jesus

and pursue me with this truth.

Fresh Bread Joyce Rupp

PS  If you ever want to respond  directly to me, please include my personal email address, otherwise I may not receive your comments.  They seem to float off into blog space somewhere!  I do enjoy hearing your reflections!  carolwawrychuk@gmail.com

One Year Later

On January 5, 2012, I sat here staring at the angel mustering up the courage to hit the send button on the first posting for "Seeds of Faith".  It still amazes me that I have actually done this - shared some of my journey with you - me, the person who not so many years ago would let no one past the outer wall. But that's the God part, the unexpected ways He just seems to show up and says, "Let's do this differently".  

And I've learned so much from this adventure, especially from you!  So many times your responses have been an encouragement, helped me to look at something from a new perspective, or given me the comfort of a kindred spirit who understands what I'm feeling.

A year ago I had a list of topics on which to reflect; I've only written on a couple of them!  I've come to understand if the nudge to do this was from God, the Spirit would also direct me as to what needed to be shared.  I've relaxed into the flow of waiting for promptings   Now if that isn't out of my comfort zone, I don't know what is!  

So thank you for sticking with me.  Oh, and I'm not going anywhere yet.  “Seeds of Faith” will continue to drop into your mailbox, when you least expect it!

Happy New Year 2013

The celebration of the New Year has never been high on my 'holiday list'.  Oh there have been a few years of parties, late dinners, and even spending the night on the parade route (when I was VERY young and dumb!), but somehow it never measured up to MY expectations of the perfect New Year’s Eve.

But this year was different.  We were invited to an open house, which began early, allowing us to be home at a reasonable hour (well reasonable for us, that is!).   Bill and I wished each other Happy New Year before nodding off around 10:30, Spud already snoring at the foot of the bed!   In the midst of that twilight sleep, I vaguely heard the phone ring, followed by a familiar voice on the answering machine.  It was my dear friend not wanting to let 2012 end without sending her love.   And as I write, one eye is glued to the TV so I don't miss another friend who will be riding on one of the floats.

Doesn't sound all that spectacular does it?  So what's changed, you may ask?

It's me!  I've changed!   I welcomed the New Year surrounded by people I love and who dearly care about me (including canine people of course!) Finally, I am able to recognize perfection with more clarity.   

It's the simple things; seems to be a reoccurring theme with me these days!

Wishing you a 2013 chock full of the simple things in life, with arms wide open to embrace them!